The Things We Hide
by Vapor2008
Summary: When Michael is sent to bring Ziva back to Israel on her fathers orders, will her and Tony ever get the chance they deserve?
1. Tough Day

**No Choice**

The bullpen was unusually quiet that day. No one really felt like joking around. They were all still trying to process the latest case they had been on. A Naval Lieutenant and two of his young children had been violently murdered, and the third had been kidnapped. If it had been a movie they would have found that third child alive, but life wasn't a movie.

McGee had thrown up at the scene. Gibbs had to send him away because he just couldn't handle what had happened to this loving father and his children. The worst part, it had been the wife and mother. No one was sure why though. Psychologically deranged was the only answer any one could come up with at the moment.

Tony had seen horrible things before, but this was the worst. He couldn't even imagine what had been going through that woman's head as she slaughtered her entire family. How could someone look into the innocent face of a child and commit such an atrocity?

Ziva didn't know how to feel. She had seen so much more death in one spot, but this was a family. A father and his three young children. She hadn't seen kids that young intentionally killed before. Maybe that was it. Unlike in Israel, these weren't casualties, these were victims. They weren't in the middle of some war, they were in their own home. Were they should have been able to feel safe.

They all sat quietly and waited for Gibbs to come out of his meeting with Vance. They knew they should be filling out paperwork, but they couldn't bring themselves to do it. A few minutes more of silence passed before McGee's phone rang. It was Abby. She wanted him to come down and be with her. She was the one who had to go through the kids stuff and clothes. She was taking it just as hard as them.

Tony waited until it was just him and Ziva before he moved. He stood and headed over to her desk. She looked up at him and he could see that she was just as torn up as he was over what had happened.

"Hey, Zee. Are you okay?"

Ziva looked up at him, at his deep brown eyes. Eyes filled with worry and pain. He was just as confused and he was worrying about her. For some reason that she couldn't explain that made her happy. She needed someone to care.

The second she thought that she stopped. She, Ziva David, trained assassin and Mossad agent, needed someone to care. Her father would be so disappointed in how she had changed.

"I don't understand, Tony. What had they done?"

He sighed as he moved to sit on her desk in front of her.

"I don't know. Sometimes people do things without a good reason. Haven't you seen children die before?"

Ziva started as she looked up at him. Did he think that just because she had seen so many deaths that she couldn't feel anymore? Did he really just think of her as a robot?

"Yes, Tony, I have. And it is _never_ a pleasant experience. No matter how many times you see it, children shouldn't die. No matter what age they are."

Tony realized his mistake then. Tali. Tali had been a child. Of course Ziva was going to think of her sister no matter how different the circumstances were.

"I'm sorry, Zee. I wasn't thinking. Of course it's not something someone could get used to. I'm just not used to seeing you so…"

He trailed off as he struggled for the right word.

"Human?", she finished for him.

Tony knew he had made a mistake again. His invincible little ninja wasn't invincible. She was human too. She had just always been better at hiding her emotions, but he guessed after what they had seen, she wouldn't really feel like it.

"You know I think you're human. You're just a better grade than the rest of us."

That earned him a small smile.

"DiNozzo, David. Go home. Today has been enough. Get some rest and be back here at 0700 tomorrow. Try to relax a little."

Tony and Ziva both looked up at their boss as he finished making it all the way down the stairs, and nodded. Tony moved back to his desk to grab his gear and turned to Ziva.

"My place night? Movie, pizza, and beers?"

Ziva knew that he was just trying to find a way for them to relax and try to move past today. Somewhere, deep down inside, she knew he wouldn't try anything tonight, so she accepted. She received a small smile for her yes, and the two of them walked towards the elevator together and on their way to moving past the events of the last week.

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So, this is just beginning to build up to where I want it to go. The next chapter is also a little more build up and chapter three will start all events in motion. So, if you wouldn't mind reviewing and telling me what you think so far, that would be wonderful. Also, if anyone has any suggestions, I'm open to those as well. Thank you for reading!!


	2. Secrets

**Secrets**

Ziva followed Tony to his apartment. Part of her, the Mossad part, had wanted to just go home and be alone, but the NCIS part of her needed to be with someone right now, and Tony had offered to be that someone.

When they got their she noticed that he didn't immediately get out of his car, so she moved a little closer. He was just sitting there staring straight ahead. Ziva very slowly opened the passenger side door and got in. She sat there quietly for a long time before he finally spoke.

"Every case is different. Every person we find is someone new. You try to get used to it. You know that your entire job is finding out who killed these people. But when your job becomes finding out who killed a man and his children it's different. It's not real. And you get angry like you never do. You want to find the person who did that and you want to rip their heart out, if you can find one that is."

Tony looked at Ziva for the first time since she got in his car. She was looking at him with an openness she never had. He could see that she was just as angry and disturbed as he was. She was hurting for that family just as much as he was.

Neither one of them moved. They sat, with locked eyes, for what seemed like an eternity. Ziva knew she should move before she did something she would regret, but her mind and body were not on the same page. Her brain was screaming at her to get out of there, but her body wouldn't make the movements.

Tony finally turned away and got out of the car. More than anything he had wanted to stay there with her, but he knew they couldn't. They got inside and Ziva went straight to the fridge to grab a couple of beers, while Tony ordered the pizza. They sat in silence watching the movie until the pizza got there.

After Tony paid the man and he sat back down Ziva put the movie on pause.

"Thank you, Tony."

He looked at her slightly confused.

"For what?"

"For giving me a chance almost four years ago. I know I didn't really do anything to deserve it, and you didn't really want me there, so thanks."

Tony didn't even know what to say. This was completely out of character for Ziva. In a way, she had just shown him that needed approval like everyone else. He just looked at her for a minute.

"I don't give chances unless someone deserves them."

Ziva didn't need anymore than that. Hearing that from Tony was all she needed. She knew she belonged here now. That she had belonged for a long time. NCIS was her home. Now, more than Israel was. She wanted to spend the rest of her life here, with these people, her family. And for this moment she let herself believe that was possible.

They watched the rest of the movie in comfortable silence. Tony had moved so he was sitting close enough to Ziva that their shoulders were touching. She hadn't moved away, so he figured it was okay. He liked having her here with him. She meant a lot to him and hoped she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. He hoped she was here for the long run.

As soon as the movie ended, they both reached for the remote at the same time, ending with Ziva's hand on top of Tony's. They both froze and looked at each other. There was no mistaking the electric shocks that were running through both of them at the contact. They both moved toward the other at the same time.

Tony slowly brought his hand up to cup Ziva's face, and was more than surprised when she leaned into it. She looked up at him with her big brown eyes and he was lost. He knew now he wasn't going to be able to walk away.

"Tony, I'm tired of pretending."

That did it. Hearing those words from her made him lose all sense of reason. He began to lean in until he was so close he could feel her warm breath on his lips. He looked at her, searching her eyes to make sure this was okay, then he leaned in to close the gap.

Before he got all the way there, the shrill tone of Ziva's cell phone broke the silence, causing her to jump back. She shot off the couch and grabbed her phone. What had she been about to do? She had never felt so relieved at the sound of her phone before, until she saw who was calling.

Tony watched as Ziva's entire body stiffened when she looked at the phone. Then she answered and began to speak in Hebrew. Tony knew that wasn't a good sign. Hebrew meant there was only a select group of people she could possibly be talking to. She began to talk louder and faster. There was an obvious anger in her voice, and Tony found himself wanting to wrap his arms around her and tell her it was going to be okay, but he knew with her current mood he would probably die.

She finally snapped the phone shut and stood there breathing hard. There was no way this could be happening to her. No. This was some kind of misunderstanding. Someone had just heard something wrong. She looked up to find Tony sitting on the couch looking at her with nothing but worry written all over his face. At that moment in time, she had never been so happy that he couldn't speak Hebrew.

She had to leave. If they found out she was here, Tony wouldn't be safe anymore. He was American, she was not. It was as simple as that. She moved to pick up her keys and coat and turned to the door, only to find Tony blocking her way.

"Zee. What's going on?"

At the heavy sound of worry in his voice, she almost told him everything. She wanted to tell him. She knew she should. He was her partner. Her life was in his hands and vice versa. But thinking of that made her realize she couldn't. His life was in her hands. She had to keep that life safe, and keeping him in the dark was the only way to do that.

"Tony. Please, just let me leave."

Tony felt his chest tighten. The way she said that, something was seriously wrong.

"Why do I get the feeling that I wouldn't just be letting you leave for tonight?"

Ziva wished he wasn't so good at reading her. That told her how weak she had become. No one should be able to see what was really going on inside. That was how she had been trained, yet Tony, could take one look at her and know when she was lying.

"Please, Tony. Don't make this worse."

"Zee, just promise me you'll be at work tomorrow."

"I promise, Tony."

With that he moved out of the way and let her walk out his door. He felt like all the breath had been taken from him. He moved because he knew she was being nice by asking him, she would have made him move eventually. He didn't know what tomorrow was going to bring, but he did know that Ziva David had just lied to him.


	3. Goodbyes

**Goodbyes**

Tony knew the instant he walked into the building the next day, that Ziva wasn't there, nor would she show up. His mind had been reeling since the previous night. Who had called her? What had they wanted? Why did she leave? Where did she go? And the most important one, was she coming back?

The bullpen was still dark, as Tony had gotten there about an hour early. He immediately sat down at Ziva's desk and turned her computer on. He wasn't McGee, but he knew how to find things. He started to go through her emails, looking for anything that could tell him what was going on. He had to find something. He had no choice.

He was so focused on his search that he didn't even hear Gibbs walk in.

"DiNozzo! What do you think you're doing?"

Tony jumped at the harsh sound of Gibbs' voice, but he didn't move from his seat.

"Someone called Ziva last night. Someone from Israel is my guess since she was talking in Hebrew. She didn't sound very happy and she sure left my place in a hurry. Boss, she isn't coming here today. I'm actually not sure if she plans on coming back at all."

Gibbs didn't move for a moment. He wasn't really sure how to take what his Senior Field Agent had just told him. If something really was wrong, Ziva knew to come to them now. She knew that they would help her. Unless, she was trying to protect them from something.

"Did she say anything to give you a clue as to what is going on?"

Tony only shook his head and continued to type away on her computer. Gibbs grabbed his coffee from off of his desk and headed straight up to MTAC. There was no way he wasn't going to figure out what was going on.

Tony watched Gibbs storm up the stairs and had a quick feeling that things were going to be alright. It was only a fleeting feeling though. Gibbs hadn't been there last night. He hadn't seen the look in Ziva's eyes. Something wasn't good and Tony was determined to find out what.

McGee knew the second he walked in that something was off. Tony was sitting at Ziva's desk and her and Gibbs were no where to be seen. He also quickly noticed that Tony was going through documents on Ziva's computer. For a second, he was impressed by the fact that Tony even knew how to do that, then he realized what that had to mean. Ziva was in trouble.

"Tony. What's going on?"

"Probie. Good you're here. See if you can find Ziva by her cell phone. It's a long shot. She probably turned it off, but try it anyway."

McGee wanted to know more, but the look on Tony's face told him to just do as he was asked and not question it. Thirty minutes later he had exhausted all of his options. There was nothing else he could do. There was no way for him to find where she was. He had even checked her card activity to see if he could pick up a trail there. Dead end.

"Tony, I've tried everything. She's covering her tracks really well. I don't even know where to look next."

Tony stood up and came over to his computer.

"Open your email."

McGee did and saw that Tony had sent him a picture, McGee put it up on the plasma.

"Find out who that is."

McGee had seen this man before. It was by accident, but one day when he walked by Ziva's desk a picture of this man had just been sitting there. The picture Tony just sent him was the same man, only this picture had Ziva in it as well. She was smiling, but McGee could see something wrong in her eyes. She was smiling but deep down she wasn't truly happy.

Gibbs stood up on the balcony and watched DiNozzo and McGee work to find his missing agent. He didn't have any news to tell them. He had spent the better part of two hours trying to get through to Director David, but he couldn't. He knew it was on purpose. He also knew that Vance knew more than he was telling.

As he walked down the stairs he watched as DiNozzo angrily slammed his fist onto the keyboard.

"Not the way to get information, Tony."

Tony looked up at him without a hint of regret.

"Sorry, boss. The files I just found are all in Hebrew. I can't get them to translate."

Gibbs didn't even miss a beat.

"McGee. Fix it."

McGee jumped up and headed to Ziva's computer.

"Right, boss."

Gibbs looked up to see the picture on the plasma.

"Who's that?"

Tony started to say something when a voice spoke up behind him.

"I believe that would be me, Agent Gibbs."

They all turn to see an Israeli looking man standing there.

Gibbs walked up to him.

"Can I help you?"

The man smiled.

"I believe you can. I'm trying to find Ziva David. You wouldn't happen to know where she is, would you?"

Gibbs snorted.

"Do you think I would be trying to find her if I did? Who are you? And what do you want with Ziva?"

"My name is Michael and I've been sent to bring her home."

Tony moved to stand beside Gibbs.

"Home?"

Michael turned to look at Tony.

"Yes, Agent DiNozzo, home. Now, if I remember things correctly, you're the last one to have seen her?"

DiNozzo stiffened.

"How would you know that?"

Michael laughed.

"I'm her handler. It's my job to know these things. I lost her sometime after she left your apartment last night. I guess she knew I was coming to get her. Now, could you please tell me where she is?"

Tony felt like hitting this guy.

"We don't know."

"Well, I suggest we get to work then. The director will not be happy if I do not bring his little girl home to him."

Gibbs headed toward the stairs. He looked over his shoulder at Michael when he noticed that he wasn't following him.

"You. With me."

"Agent Gibbs, I am just following orders. I was told to come here and bring her home. She has spent enough time here and her father would like for her to come back now."

Gibbs didn't even look at him as he spoke.

"Officer David is a part of this team now. She is one of us, and I'll be damned if I let you take her away from this team."

At this he turned and got right up in Michael face.

"Do I make myself clear?"

Vance moved towards Gibbs at this point.

"Agent Gibbs. We all knew this assignment was just temporary for Ziva. We have known since day one she could be called back at any time."

Gibbs turned to Leon.

"It doesn't mean I'm going to let it happen. Ziva is one of my people. Got that? She stays."

Just then Tony burst through the door. He looked only at Gibbs.

"Boss, it's Ziva. She's here."

Ziva had watched as Tony bounded up the steps the minute he had seen her. His face looked more relived than she had ever seen it. She knew she had worried them all.

When she saw who Tony brought back down with him, she wasn't surprised. The only reason she was here is she had followed Michael. When she realized he was coming here, at first she just wanted to run, but NCIS was her family and she wasn't going to let anything happen to them.

Ziva saw Abby step off the elevator out of the corner of her eye. At least everyone was here. That would make this go faster.

Gibbs walked up to her.

"What's going on Ziva?"

"I have to leave Gibbs. I have my orders."

She could see Tony slowly sink to the edge of his desk. She knew that look. It was the same look on his face when Vance had split up their team. She had to look away.

"Ziva, you don't have to do this. You can stay here. We can fight this."

"No, Gibbs we can't. If my father really wants me to come home, he will make me, and he won't care who gets hurt in the process. I won't put you all in danger that way. I can't."

Gibbs looked at her long and hard. She didn't look away. He knew there was no way he was going to talk her out of this. This is how she had been trained. To be a good little soldier.

He stepped forward and pulled her into a hug.

"Stay safe Ziva. We are here if you ever need us. You're family."

Ziva stepped out of the hug and nodded. She then turned to McGee.

"Don't let Tony be too hard on you. You're a good agent. You're bright McGee, keep working. Don't let anyone get to you."

"I won't, Ziva. Take care of yourself."

Ziva smiled as she gave McGee a quick hug. Abby was waiting when she turned around. The sweet goth already had black tears streaming down her face.

"You can't leave. We just got you back."

Ziva gave a sad smile.

"Don't worry, Abby. We shall keep in touch, yes?"

Abby nodded and pulled Ziva into a bone crushing hug. When she finally let go, Ziva turned to her partner, her best friend.

"Tony."

He didn't say anything. He just looked at her. She almost said no, she wouldn't leave, when she saw the hurt buried in his green depths. She was hurting him, she knew that. But she also knew she was protecting him. She had to leave. Mossad doesn't take to kindly when people disobey orders.

She reached up and placed a hand on his cheek. He closed his eyes and lend into it for a brief second, before pulling away from her touch. For a second she was hurt, but she knew this would be the easiest way for them to say goodbye. Simple, uncomplicated. They locked eyes for one more brief moment before she turned and walked away with Michael.

When she got to the elevator, she turned and looked at her team, her family. Abby was still crying, McGee looked like he was trying hard not to, Gibbs looked angry and determined, she knew he wouldn't give up trying to get her back. When she looked at the last person though, she couldn't breath. There was a look in his eyes she had never seen before. Hurt, anger, and something else, buried deep inside. He looked at her for a moment, before turning his back on her and heading to his desk.

With that final act, Ziva turned and got into the elevator. She knew this was the worst thing that could happen to her, but this was her life. All she was trained to do, all she had to do, follow orders. Even if they broke her heart.


	4. Second Chances?

**So, just to let you all know, I'm at a loss as to where I want the story to go from here. I had an idea when I started writing, but the story took itself away from my plot. I normally let the story write itself, and that normally works. For some reason though, I'm stuck, so the next few chapters will be me trying to find where to take it. Please, if anyone has any suggestions, I'm very open to them right now.**

**Second Chances?**

The months had dragged by for Tony since his partner and best friend had left. He felt like he was lost, like a vital part of him was missing. He just chalked it up to losing his partner and nothing more than that. He tried to focus on work, but he felt like he was never doing anything quite right. Gibbs hadn't yelled at him in a while, but Tony still felt that he was taking too long to find the leads, to track down the killer. He just wished he had his partner back.

Gibbs was more than impressed with the new Tony. He felt that it might be a subconscious thing. Maybe Tony felt that if he worked harder that he would somehow get her back. That he would be able to find her again. His team was different. Less childish. Tony had grown up, and Gibbs knew it was due to the loss of yet another partner, different than the last loss, but just as painful.

McGee had grown a lot too. Gibbs didn't really understand what had happened to his team. They worked harder and better than they ever had, but they were lacking a zeal for their job. McGee had taken Ziva's last words to him to heart, the first time Tony had made a crack about him not being a good agent, McGee had gone off on him. Gibbs had sat silently at his desk and watched. He knew they were both hurting, but he had no idea how to fix it.

Tony didn't want to go to work that day. Something felt off, like he shouldn't go in. He called Gibbs and simply told him he wasn't coming in. Gibbs wasn't pleased but he knew this was a personal day Tony should have taken a long time ago.

The park seemed like the only place Tony could think of for some peace. He had been here so many times with Ziva for runs, that he felt like she was there with him. Little did he know she was.

Ziva David knew she shouldn't be out in the open like she was, but something had told her to go to the park that day. An undeniable urge had driven her to leave the safe house and head to the park. Once there she started down the familiar paths she used to take on runs. That was when she saw him.

She couldn't breath when she first saw him. It had been almost eight months. He looked different. Not necessarily physically, but a part of his personality was different and it showed. She quickly moved off to the side, just out of where she knew he would be looking. For the next few moments she just studied him.

Older. That's how she finally decided that he looked. Older and more mature. She could see that some part of him had died. It seemed like the part of him that was always smiling. Watching him, she saw someone that was more aware of the world and his surroundings. She had a feeling that he had finally become the agent she had always known he could be. For a fleeting moment she wished that she had been there to see this change take place, but she buried that feeling, knowing that wishing made her weak.

Tony started to get the feeling that he was being watched. He could tell it wasn't a dangerous situation, but more like someone was just observing him. Slowly, he began to casually look around to see if he could find who it was. There were so many people in the park that day, he knew it could be anyone. The only thing he wondered was, who looked like they had a reason to be watching him.

He spotted a group of younger women looking at him, but he knew it wasn't them. He didn't have the feeling that someone was looking at him lustfully, but carefully. He gave a small smile to the women and continued to look. That's when he saw her.

Ziva had finally given in to the desire to speak to him. To let him know that she was okay and to see if he was. She stepped out right into his line of vision and waited for him to look at her. When he finally did, the wind was knocked right out of her.

The look on his face made her regret ever leaving in the first place. He seemed at a loss for words, but in a good way. She knew he wasn't mad, he was just happy to finally see her after all this time. She felt the same way.

Their eyes were locked yet neither one made a move. They simply stood there and waited for who knew what. Ziva knew she should do something. Just as she began to make the first step, someone accidentally ran into Tony. The moment his eyes lost hers, the moment was lost, and she realized what a bad idea this had been.

When Tony looked back up at where she had been standing, she was gone. Vanished into thin air. He frantically searched around, hoping for a quick view of where she was, but he couldn't find her anywhere. After wandering aimlessly around the park for another hour, Tony knew there was only one place he could go to get help.

Gibbs knew the second Tony stepped off the elevator that something was up. The look on Tony's face was a determination that Gibbs hadn't seen in a while.

"Boss."

Tony walked right up to Gibbs desk, he didn't speak at first, he just looked at Gibbs.

"What do you want, DiNozzo?"

"Ziva's here."

Gibbs looked up at him, not quite knowing if he should believe him.

"What?"

"Ziva is here, boss. I saw her in the park today. She's here. She saw me. She let me see her."

"Then where is she now, DiNozzo?"

"I don't know, boss. She just disappeared. One minute I was looking at her, then someone ran into me, when I looked back up, she was gone."

"That means she doesn't want to be found."

Tony wouldn't take that as any sort of explanation.

"We need to find her."

"What do you expect me to do, Tony? She's a Mossad agent. If she doesn't want to be found, we won't find her."

Just then Gibbs phone rang. After he finished talking to whoever was on the other end, he looked up at Tony and McGee.

"Gear up. Dead Marine. In the park."

Tony looked at Gibbs for a second and then his agent side kicked in. He grabbed his gear and followed McGee and Gibbs to the elevator.

When they pulled up to the scene they saw that the police had already tapped off the area and were keeping people at a distance. They flashed their badges and got to work.

"DiNozzo, photos and sketch. McGee, bag and tag."

A response of 'Yes, boss', was heard and Gibbs got to work on the witness statements. When Ziva had left Gibbs had refused to take another team member, and for once Vance honored that. Now, there was a little extra work for everyone, but they all didn't seem to mind. It just kept them working harder and didn't really give them much time to miss Ziva when they were working on a case.

By the end of the day, they were no closer to finding out what happened than they had been before they found the body. McGee and Tony were sitting in the squad room trying to look at things from a different point of view.

McGee was going through all online information he could find on the marine, Sgt. Mark Jacobs.

"Tony, how long ago did you say he was deployed to Iraq?"

Tony grabbed his file and looked through it quickly.

"Six months. No one even knew he was back in the States. Not really sure how he pulled that off. His CO says Jacobs was supposed to be on a recon mission for another week or so. They haven't had any word from the group, because they are in too deep to risk contact at the moment."

McGee began to type furiously and then looked over at Tony.

"I think we could have a problem."

Tony walked over to McGee's desk and looked at the screen.

"I'll get the boss."

A few minutes later, when Gibbs had joined them, McGee put his findings up on the plasma. Gibbs just stared at it for a minute, then turned with an expectant look at McGee.

"What am I looking at, McGee?"

"Right, sorry boss. Well, we know from his file that Jacobs shipped out to Iraq six months ago, and that he doesn't have any living relatives here in the states. Starting about four months ago, regular deposits were made to an offshore account in Jacobs name. As you can see from the amount of these deposits, there is no way it was simply his regular pay."

Tony jumped in at that point.

"We think he was involved with the black market in Iraq, boss. Not sure what though, could be weapons, information, medicine, we really have no way to tell right now. Although, this gives us a good place to start trying to figure out what happened."

Gibbs looked at both of them.

"Good work, McGee. Now, both of you. Find me the killer."

With that Gibbs turned and walked out. Tony and McGee both stood there looking at each other for a moment, before they sat back down at their desks and got to work again. Gibbs had been just slightly easier on them since Ziva left, but they both knew he was still Gibbs, and if he wanted the killer, they better get it for him.


End file.
